Today I got feedback on a job application I did and shockingly I ain’t mad. Okay maybe a tad bit upset I didn’t manage past the second phase of the interview but am happy. I feel satisfied with the fact I did apply and got shortlisted even if it was the first round,yaay!! ,This gives me confidence. Confidence that I am good enough. I need to work on myself a little more but still good enough.
Since time in memorial I have felt like am not worth it . Not good enough to stand up on my two feet because I may be judged for being ugly or stupid or just not right. Stupid, I know. At times I still feel like that; no wait ,I still do feel shitty for not always being good enough. I am only glad at this point on my life I have met amazing human beings that see me in a different light ,friends that never fail to remind me of my good qualities( never knew I had those) , friends that always want the best for me even when I can’t really see. For this I am grateful. For this I work hard to prove to myself that indeed I can be who I wish to be.
Learning to love oneself is the biggest challenge I think exists especially if you grew up in a society that is always judgmental. A society with standards on how one should behave or act ,or have certain looks/appearances to be appreciated or even acknowledged , a society built on imposing fear on people like me. People who only seek to be loved just as they are.
Well I am learning. Learning to be who I am regardless of people’s opinions, regardless of the mean world we live in. I am learning to be me as God intended. Finding one’s purpose isn’t the easiest task but one step at a time and I will finally figure it out.
Like I said, I am finding myself in experiences and adventures.
Try and fail than never trying at all.