DISTURBED AND SICK

I am not sure where to place my emotions today. Feeling pissed off ,chocked.frustrated ,disturbed ,angry ,like screaming screw this world.

Sometimes you wish you could reverse  time,go back to bed and start a day afresh .Absolutely on a different note.

What puzzles me though is how my mood changed from 0 to 100 real fast. Woke feeling relaxed ;body and mind at peace. Had a partly productive morning than suddenly things took a turn for the absolute worst ,emotionally.

Some peoples faces just irritate the crap out of me and worse is when I have to talk or they speak to me. HELP!!!!!

As I write this ,I realize that maybe my moods are an effect of my addiction to pethidine. A battle I just figured out last night I need to deal with. Reading through the web the effect of dependency on it didn’t really seem that bad. I literally thought I could definitely manage ,oh boy!!!How wrong was I.

My lack of self control and dependency is currently  on a downward spiral. It is affecting my work , my social life, my academic life( Oh shit!!! I haven’t done my events management research ;this is 2 months down the line), my spiritual life ( this is totally fucked up) ,and any other sphere of my life that exists at all.

I hate my self. Totally and completely hate myself right now.

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